The Golden Compass hdm-1 Page 33
The windows from which the light emerged also showed Lord Asriel's formidable power. Glass was expensive, and large sheets of it were prodigal of heat in these fierce latitudes; so to see them here was evidence of wealth and influence far greater than lofur Raknison's vulgar palace.
Lyra and Roger mounted their bears for the last time, and lorek led the way up the slope toward the house. There was a courtyard that lay deep under snow, surrounded by a low wall, and as lorek pushed open the gate they heard a bell ring somewhere in the building.
Lyra got down. She could hardly stand. She helped Roger down too, and, supporting each other, the children stumbled through the thigh-deep snow toward the steps up to the door.
Oh, the warmth there would be inside that house! Oh, the peaceful rest!
She reached for the handle of the bell, but before she could reach it, the door opened. There was a small dimly lit vestibule to keep the warm air in, and standing under the lamp was a figure she recognized: Lord Asriel's manservant Thorold, with his pinscher daemon Anfang.
Lyra wearily pushed back her hood.
«Who…» Thorold began, and then saw who it was, and went on: «Not Lyra? Little Lyra? Am I dreaming?»
He reached behind him to open the inner door.
A hall, with a coal fire blazing in a stone grate; warm naphtha light glowing on carpets, leather chairs, polished wood… It was like nothing Lyra had seen since leaving Jordan College, and it brought a choking gasp to her throat.
Lord Asriel's snow-leopard daemon growled.
Lyra's father stood there, his powerful dark-eyed face at first fierce, triumphant, and eager; and then the color faded from it; his eyes widened, in horror, as he recognized his daughter.
«No! No!»
He staggered back and clutched at the mantelpiece. Lyra couldn't move.
«Get out!» Lord Asriel cried. «Turn around, get out, go! I did not send for you!»
She couldn't speak. She opened her mouth twice, three times, and then managed to say:
«No, no, I came because—»
He seemed appalled; he kept shaking his head, he held up his hands as if to ward her off; she couldn't believe his distress.
She moved a step closer to reassure him, and Roger came to stand with her, anxious. Their daemons fluttered out into the warmth, and after a moment Lord Asriel passed a hand across his brow and recovered slightly. The color began to return to his cheeks as he looked down at the two.
«Lyra,» he said. «That is Lyra?»
«Yes, Uncle Asriel,» she said, thinking that this wasn't the time to go into their true relationship. «I came to bring you the alethiometer from the Master of Jordan.»
«Yes, of course you did,» he said. «Who is this?»
«It's Roger Parslow,» she said. «He's the kitchen boy from Jordan College. But—»
«How did you get here?»
«I was just going to say, there's lorek Byrnison outside, he's brought us here. He came with me all the way from Trollesund, and we tricked lofur—»
«Who's lorek Byrnison?»
«An armored bear. He brought us here.»
«Thorold,» he called, «run a hot bath for these children, and prepare them some food. Then they will need to sleep. Their clothes are filthy; find them something to wear. Do it now, while I talk to this bear.»
Lyra felt her head swim. Perhaps it was the heat, or perhaps it was relief. She watched the servant bow and leave the hall, and Lord Asriel go into the vestibule and close the door behind, and then she half-fell into the nearest chair.
Only a moment later, it seemed, Thorold was speaking to her.
«Follow me, miss,» he was saying, and she hauled herself up and went with Roger to a warm bathroom, where soft towels hung on a heated rail, and where a tub of water steamed in the naphtha light.
«You go first,» said Lyra. «I'll sit outside and we'll talk.»
So Roger, wincing and gasping at the heat, got in and washed. They had swum naked together often enough, frolicking in the Isis or the Cherwell with other children, but this was different.
«I'm afraid of your uncle,» said Roger through the open door. «I mean your father.»
«Better keep calling him my uncle. I'm afraid of him too, sometimes.»
«When we first come in, he never saw me at all. He only saw you. And he was horrified, till he saw me. Then he calmed down all at once.»
«He was just shocked,» said Lyra. «Anyone would be, to see someone they didn't expect. He last saw me after that time in the Retiring Room. It's bound to be a shock.»
«No,» said Roger, «it's more than that. He was looking at me like a wolf, or summing.»
«You're imagining it.»
«I en't. I'm more scared of him than I was of Mrs. Coulter, and that's the truth.»
He splashed himself. Lyra took out the alethiometer.
«D'you want me to ask the symbol reader about it?» Lyra said.
«Well, I dunno. There's things I'd rather not know. Seems to me everything I heard of since the Gobblers come to Oxford, everything's been bad. There en't been nothing good more than about five minutes ahead. Like I can see now, this bath's nice, and there's a nice warm towel there, about five minutes away. And once I'm dry, maybe I'll think of summing nice to eat, but no further ahead than that. And when I've eaten, maybe I'll look forward to a kip in a comfortable bed. But after that, I dunno, Lyra. There's been terrible things we seen, en't there? And more a coming, more'n likely. So I think I'd rather not know what's in the future. I'll stick to the present.»
«Yeah,» said Lyra wearily. «There's times I feel like that too.»
So although she held the alethiometer in her hands for a little longer, it was only for comfort; she didn't turn the wheels, and the swinging of the needle passed her by. Pantalaimon watched it in silence.
After they'd both washed, and eaten some bread and cheese and drunk some wine and hot water, the servant Thorold said, «The boy is to go to bed. I'll show him where to go. His Lordship asks if you'd join him in the library, Miss Lyra.»
Lyra found Lord Asriel in a room whose wide windows overlooked the frozen sea far below. There was a coal fire under a wide chimneypiece, and a naphtha lamp turned down low, so there was little in the way of distracting reflections between the occupants of the room and the bleak starlit panorama outside. Lord Asriel, reclining in a large armchair on one side of the fire, beckoned her to come and sit in the other chair facing him.
«Your friend lorek Byrnison is resting outside,» he said. «He prefers the cold.»
«Did he tell you about his fight with lofur Raknison?»
«Not in detail. But I understand that he is now the king of Svalbard. Is that true?»
«Of course it's true. lorek never lies.»
«He seems to have appointed himself your guardian.»
«No. John Faa told him to look after me, and he's doing it because of that. He's following John Faa's orders.»
«How does John Faa come into this?»
«I'll tell you if you tell me something,» she said. «You're my father, en't you?»
«Yes. So what?»
«So you should have told me before, that's what. You shouldn't hide things like that from people, because they feel stupid when they find out, and that's cruel. What difference would it make if I knew I was your daughter? You could have said it years ago. You could've told me and asked me to keep it secret, and I would, no matter how young I was, I'd have done that if you asked me. I'd have been so proud nothing would've torn it out of me, if you asked me to keep it secret. But you never. You let other people know, but you never told me.»
«Who did tell you?»
«John Faa.»
«Did he tell you about your mother?»
«Yes.»
«Then there's not much left for me to tell. I don't think I want to be interrogated and condemned by an insolent child. I want to hear what you've seen and done on the way here.»
«I brought you the bloody alethiometer, d
idn't I?» Lyra burst out. She was very near to tears. «I looked after it all the way from Jordan, I hid it and I treasured it, all through what's happened to us, and I learned about using it, and I carried it all this bloody way when I could've just given up and been safe, and you en't even said thank you, nor showed any sign that you're glad to see me. I don't know why I ever done it. But I did, and I kept on going, even in lofur Raknison's stinking palace with all them bears around me I kept on going, all on me own, and I tricked him into fighting with lorek so's I could come on here for your sake….And when you did see me, you like to fainted, as if I was some horrible thing you never wanted to see again. You en't human, Lord Asriel. You en't my father. My father wouldn't treat me like that. Fathers are supposed to love their daughters, en't they? You don't love me, and I don't love you, and that's a fact. I love Farder Coram, and I love lorek Byrnison; I love an armored bear more'n I love my father. And I bet lorek Byrnison loves me more'n you do.»
«You told me yourself he's only following John Faa's orders.
If you're going to be sentimental, I shan't waste time talking to you.»
«Take your bloody alethiometer, then, and I'm going back with lorek.»
«Where?»
«Back to the palace. He can fight with Mrs. Coulter and the Oblation Board, when they turn up. If he loses, then I'll die too, I don't care. If he wins, we'll send for Lee Scoresby and I'll sail away in his balloon and—»
«Who's Lee Scoresby?»
«An aeronaut. He brought us here and then we crashed. Here you are, here's the alethiometer. It's all in good order.»
He made no move to take it, and she laid it on the brass fender around the hearth.
«And I suppose I ought to tell you that Mrs. Coulter's on her way to Svalbard, and as soon as she hears what's happened to lofur Raknison, she'll be on her way here. In a zeppelin, with a whole lot of soldiers, and they're going to kill us all, by order of the Magisterium.»
«They'll never reach us,» he said calmly.
He was so quiet and relaxed that some of her ferocity dwindled.
«You don't know,» she said uncertainly.
«Yes I do.»
«Have you got another alethiometer, then?»
«I don't need an alethiometer for that. Now I want to hear about your journey here, Lyra. Start from the beginning. Tell me everything.»
So she did. She began with her hiding in the Retiring Room, and went on to the Gobblers' taking Roger, and her time with Mrs. Coulter, and everything else that had happened.
It was a long tale, and when she finished it she said, «So there's one thing I want to know, and I reckon I've got the right to know it, like I had the right to know who I really was. And if you didn't tell me that, you've got to tell me this, in recompense. So: what's Dust? And why's everyone so afraid of it?»
He looked at her as if trying to guess whether she would understand what he was about to say. He had never looked at her seriously before, she thought; until now he had always been like an adult indulging a child in a pretty trick. But he seemed to think she was ready.
«Dust is what makes the alethiometer work,» he said. «Ah…I thought it might! But what else? How did they find out about it?»
«In one way, the Church has always been aware of it. They've been preaching about Dust for centuries, only they didn't call it by that name.
«But some years ago a Muscovite called Boris Mikhailovitch Rusakov discovered a new kind of elementary particle. You've heard of electrons, photons, neutrinos, and the rest? They're called elementary particles because you can't break them down any further: there's nothing inside them but themselves. Well, this new kind of particle was elementary all right, but it was very hard to measure because it didn't react in any of the usual ways. The hardest thing for Rusakov to understand was why the new particle seemed to cluster where human beings were, as if it were attracted to us. And especially to adults. Children too, but not nearly so much until their daemons have taken a fixed form. During the years of puberty they begin to attract Dust more strongly, and it settles on them as it settles on adults.
«Now all discoveries of this sort, because they have a bearing on the doctrines of the Church, have to be announced through the Magisterium in Geneva. And this discovery of Rusakov's was so unlikely and strange that the inspector from the Consistorial Court of Discipline suspected Rusakov of diabolic possession. He performed an exorcism in the laboratory, he interrogated Rusakov under the rules of the Inquisition, but finally they had to accept the fact that Rusakov wasn't lying or deceiving them: Dust really existed.
«That left them with the problem of deciding what it was. And given the Church's nature, there was only one thing they could have chosen. The Magisterium decided that Dust was the physical evidence for original sin. Do you know what original sin is?»
She twisted her lips. It was like being back at Jordan, being quizzed on something she'd been half-taught. «Sort of,» she said.
«No, you don't. Go to the shelf beside the desk and bring me the Bible.»
Lyra did so, and handed the big black book to her father.
«You do remember the story of Adam and Eve?»
'«Course,» she said. «She wasn't supposed to eat the fruit and the serpent tempted her, and she did.»
«And what happened then?»
«Umm…They were thrown out. God threw them out of the garden.»
«God had told them not to eat the fruit, because they would die. Remember, they were naked in the garden, they were like children, their daemons took on any form they desired. But this is what happened.»
He turned to Chapter Three of Genesis, and read:
«And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
«But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
«And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
«For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and your daemons shall assume their true forms, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
«And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to reveal the true form of one's daemon, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
«And the eyes of them both were opened, and they saw the true form of their daemons, and spoke with them.
«But when the man and the woman knew their own daemons, they knew that a great change had come upon them, for until that moment it had seemed that they were at one with all the creatures of the earth and the air, and there was no difference between them:
«And they saw the difference, and they knew good and evil; and they were ashamed, and they sewed fig leaves together to cover their nakedness….»
He closed the book.
«And that was how sin came into the world,» he said, «sin and shame and death. It came the moment their daemons became fixed.»
«But…» Lyra struggled to find the words she wanted: «but it en't true, is it? Not true like chemistry or engineering, not that kind of true? There wasn't really an Adam and Eve? The Cassington Scholar told me it was just a kind of fairy tale.»
«The Cassington Scholarship is traditionally given to a freethinker; it's his function to challenge the faith of the Scholars. Naturally he'd say that. But think of Adam and Eve like an imaginary number, like the square root of minus one: you can never see any concrete proof that it exists, but if you include it in your equations, you can calculate all manner of things that couldn't be imagined without it.
«Anyway, it's what the Church has taught for thousands of years. And when Rusakov discovered Dust, at last there was a physical proof that something happened when innocence changed into experience.
«Incidentally, the Bible gave us the name Dust as well. At first they were called Rusakov Particles, bu
t soon someone pointed out a curious verse toward the end of the Third Chapter of Genesis, where God's cursing Adam for eating the fruit.»
He opened the Bible again and pointed it out to Lyra. She read:
«In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return….»
Lord Asriel said, «Church scholars have always puzzled over the translation of that verse. Some say it should read not 'unto dust shalt thou return' but 'thou shalt be subject to dust,' and others say the whole verse is a kind of pun on the words 'ground' and 'dust,' and it really means that God's admitting his own nature to be partly sinful. No one agrees. No one can, because the text is corrupt. But it was too good a word to waste, and that's why the particles became known as Dust.»
«And what about the Gobblers?» Lyra said.
«The General Oblation Board…Your mother's gang. Clever of her to spot the chance of setting up her own power base, but she's a clever woman, as I dare say you've noticed. It suits the Magisterium to allow all kinds of different agencies to flourish. They can play them off against one another; if one succeeds, they can pretend to have been supporting it all along, and if it fails, they can pretend it was a renegade outfit which had never been properly licensed.
«You see, your mother's always been ambitious for power. At first she tried to get it in the normal way, through marriage, but that didn't work, as I think you've heard. So she had to turn to the Church. Naturally she couldn't take the route a man could have taken—priesthood and so on—it had to be unorthodox; she had to set up her own order, her own channels of influence, and work through that. It was a good move to specialize in Dust. Everyone was frightened of it; no one knew what to do; and when she offered to direct an investigation, the Magisterium was so relieved that they backed her with money and resources of all kinds.»
«But they were cutting—» Lyra couldn't bring herself to say it; the words choked in her mouth. «You know what they were doing! Why did the Church let them do anything like that?»